


Dead Hearts

by ViolentVioletEye



Series: Alone Together [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, DadSchlatt, Gen, Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Schlatt and Tommy are the only two who show up, Seizures (only mentioned), Skipping Class, The others are dead, These two are just trying their very best, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), cause you know, parenting, skipping school all together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolentVioletEye/pseuds/ViolentVioletEye
Summary: Maybe one day the kid would have a bed where the boxspring matched it, and they would each have their own rooms, and Schlatt wouldn’t dread dragging himself to work every day and Tommy would find some way to express his anger at the world that wasn’t just him thrashing and screaming in Schlatt’s arms. But they didn’t have healthcare, and therapy was expensive, so all he could do was hope for better days. That was hard to do, though, especially when it seemed like it was every night that Tommy was waking up screaming from some nightmare.
Relationships: Jschlatt & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Alone Together [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093832
Comments: 13
Kudos: 193





	Dead Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> TWs for anxiety, nightmares, and seizures, though the seizures are only referenced and they don't actually happen in this oneshot.

Every night, Schlatt felt like the world was holding its breath with him. Because while Tommy’s breakdowns became fewer, his nightmares did not. And when the kid had nightmares, the severity varied. Sometimes he could take care of himself. Schlatt would wake up around three am to the kid shuffling around in the kitchen behind the couch, getting himself some water, maybe a bowl of something easy to eat like ravioli or cereal. On those nights, Schlatt wouldn’t be needed, so he would listen until he went back to his room, and then he would fall back asleep. He never brought it up the next day. And, sometimes, some nights passed by peacefully. Those would always turn out to be the easier nights, and the mornings after everything would be much more tolerable for the fifteen-almost-sixteen-year-old. It was nights like that that Schlatt prayed for every time he laid down on the couch to sleep and Tommy went into the one bedroom this cheap ass apartment had.

_ Did you touch them? Did you hold them? _

Tommy tried to give him the bed when they first moved into this place until he gave up after it was clear Schlatt wasn’t taking it. Back then, it had been a mattress on the floor. Now, it had a box spring that was too big for it, but it had been left on the side of the road and Schlatt took whatever came their way these days. Tommy had complained about it, as he often complained about everything nowadays, but Schlatt didn’t take it to heart. He was pretty sure it was just a teenager thing. He still slept in it, so Schlatt decided it couldn’t be  _ that  _ bad. He hoped that maybe one day they would be able to afford a nice place, even if it was just a two-bedroom apartment. Maybe one day the kid would have a bed where the boxspring matched it, and they would each have their own rooms, and Schlatt wouldn’t dread dragging himself to work every day and Tommy would find some way to express his anger at the world that wasn’t just him thrashing and screaming in Schlatt’s arms. But they didn’t have healthcare, and therapy was expensive, so all he could do was hope for better days. That was hard to do, though, especially when it seemed like it was every night that Tommy was waking up screaming from some nightmare.

And it was happening again tonight.

_ Did they follow you to town? _

Schlatt’s eyes opened as Tommy’s piercing scream echoed in the air. He fell off the couch, then scrambled to his feet. He was wearing socks, and they made him slip and slide on the wooden floorboards before he reached down and yanked them off and flung them over his shoulder as he sprinted out of the living room. He darted into the kitchen area, then shoved open the bedroom door that was on the right wall. He stumbled through, lifted his eyes to the bedroom, and then gritted his teeth. Tommy thrashed on the bed, rolling back and forth, kicking off his blankets and his pillows. He was sweating, his face was red, his teeth bared as he screamed right through them, eyebrows furrowed down in what looked like anger and pain. Schlatt could only be thankful that he wasn’t having another seizure. The first time the kid had had one in his sleep, he had no clue what to do. He had pinned him down, tried to get him to start, but he was pretty sure that just made it worse. Actually, he  _ knew  _ it made it worse because he did some research afterward and found out what to actually do. He was more prepared the second time, and it hadn’t happened since.

_ They make me feel I'm falling down. _

_ They make me feel I'm falling down. _

He knew he should take him to the doctor. But again, they didn’t have insurance or money for the hefty bills that would come with it.

_ Was there one you saw too clearly? _

But it didn’t matter, because the kid wasn’t having a seizure. He just needed to be woken up. And he set about doing just that, grabbing the kid by his shoulders and yanking him up so he was sitting instead of lying down. He unclenched his teeth, his scream becoming more like a choked gasp as his eyes snapped open. The blue orbs were wild with terror, foggy with a dream he wasn’t quite awake from yet. Schlatt grabbed his shoulders and shook him, shouting his name, and Tommy sucked in a deep breath before he squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed at the sides of his head. He trembled in Schlatt’s grasp for a moment before he peeled his eyes open and glanced around with slightly more aware eyes before he lifted them to Schlatt.

_ Did they seem too real to you? _

They stared at each other before tears welled in Tommy’s eyes. A horrible sob ripped from his throat and Schlatt’s face fell. He pulled the boy into a tight hug and felt him grab onto the front of his shirt before he fell into loud, hysterical sobbing. Schlatt didn’t say anything, simply because he had nothing he could say. They never talked about Tommy’s nightmares, but some nights he screamed names. He usually screamed for his brothers or Tubbo. Sometimes he screamed before his father.

_ They were kids that I once knew. _

_ They were kids that I once knew. _

Sometimes, he just screamed. But every time he woke up, he cried. He cried like a kid, heartbroken and terrified, with no end in sight. All Schlatt could do was hug him, and unlike when he had his breakdowns, he let himself be hugged. In fact, he yearned for it. He clung to Schlatt and would never let go until he cried himself into unconsciousness. It had taken a bit for Schlatt to figure out that that was all the kid wanted. He just wanted to be held. Sometimes he would crawl into Schlatt’s lap and curl up like a kid. Most times, like tonight, he just smashed himself into his chest and cried and cried until he passed out. And Schlatt would say nothing and do nothing but hold him, maybe rub circles into his upper back, and let him get it all out. His mind wandered often during that time, and he always festered over the fact that Tommy was so touch-deprived, so desperate for some sort of comfort, that he even sought it in him. A man he hated. A man he still saw an enemy. An enemy that took him to school and bought him food and clothes and minutes for his phone and...

_ I could say it, but you won't believe me. _

It was all just so fucked. For all of their tries to make this all normal, they knew it never would be.

_ You say you do, but you don't deceive me. _

Tommy passed out, just as he did every other night. His sobs faded, his hiccups became few and far between, until finally, he was limp in Schlatt’s arms. The ram carefully laid him back down on the old bed, grabbed the old and worn blankets, and covered the kid up until his chin.

_ It's hard to know they're out there. _

He touched his head, felt the greasy locks, and he sucked in a deep breath. When was the last time the kid took care of himself and got in the bath? Yeah, the water pressure was horrible and it usually took two hours to fill the tub and the hot water came and went, but he still had to take care of himself. He pulled his hand back and walked to the kitchen, getting a glass of water before walking back into his room to leave it on the box he used as a bedside table. His eyes caught on Tommy’s phone. It was a burner. It was cheap and it couldn’t be traced. He downloaded music onto it using the school’s library one day and switched them out now and then.

_ It's hard to know that you still care. _

He picked it up, plugged it in, and set it on the box, next to the old lamp and the glass of water. He paused, then after a bit of debating, he picked his phone back up and navigated to his alarm, which was set to go off at seven. Ugh. That was three hours away. He glanced at the kid, then turned the alarm off, knowing how to only because he had his own burner that was the same brand, then turned off the phone before he set it back down on the crate. It had been… rough, tonight. Usually, when he grabbed him he woke up immediately. It must have been awful if the dream lingered for so long that he couldn’t tell the difference between it and reality. He wondered what it was.

_ I could say it, but you won't believe me. _

_ You say you do, but you don't deceive me. _

He went back to the couch and laid down. He set an alarm for eight, so he could have his coffee and then take the thirty-minute drive to his work. He’d leave a note for Tommy, call the school and tell him he was sick, and pick up a treat for him on his way home. He’d just have to hope that the kid would take care of himself, even it just meant he’d find himself something to eat from the kitchen and get himself in the bath. He also hoped that he wouldn’t do something stupid while he was gone, and Schlatt would come home to find himself all alone.

_ Dead hearts are everywhere. _

Schlatt shut his eyes and slipped back off to sleep. He didn’t wake up to the kid screaming. It never happened more than once on the same night.  
  


***~*~*~*~***

_  
Dead hearts are everywhere _

“Schlatt! Wake the fuck up! The alarm didn’t go off!” Schlatt peeled his eyes open, squinting up with beady eyes. Tommy was hunched over him, eyes wide with panic and annoyance. Schlatt stared up at him, slowly registering his words, and then he just shook his head and shut his eyes again.

_ They were kids that I once knew. _

“You’re not going to school. Go back to bed.”

“Wha—?! Schlatt, we can get there in time!” Tommy shook him again, rougher than before, and Schlatt gave a low growl.

_ They were kids that I once knew. _

“Kid, I turned off your alarm.” Tommy’s hand froze on his shoulder. “That nightmare you had last night, it was rough. You need a mental health day. Take a bath, get yourself something to eat, watch some TV—preferably in…” He picked up his own phone and flipped it open, squinting at the time while Tommy pulled his hand away from him. “In thirty minutes, when my alarm goes off for work.”

_ Now they're all dead hearts to you. _

He could feel Tommy staring at him as he set his phone back down and shut his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He had lived with the kid long enough to imagine that he was probably gaping at him like a fish, trying to find something to say. He figured a thanks would be nice, but he knew he wouldn’t get one. That was just how they were.

“Oh, and, check the mail for me. Usually comes in the afternoon.”

_ Now they're all dead hearts to you. _

Tommy stood there for a moment, maybe for even a minute, before he finally began to walk away from the door. He didn’t say anything, and neither did Schlatt. This was breaking from their normal routine, Schlatt knew that. No matter how bad the nightmare had been, Tommy would drag himself out of bed and Schlatt would take him to school, both beady-eyed, both even quieter than usual if it was really bad. Even when he had those two seizures, he still went to school. 

_ They were kids that I once knew. _

Well. Routines and traditions were made to be broken. Schlatt knew that more than anyone. And if he decided that the kid was staying home from school, then that was that. As much as Tommy could be so stubborn that it made Schlatt want to pull out his own horns, they both also knew that he wouldn’t win this fight. What could he do? Drag Schlatt into the car and force him to drive him to school? Tommy didn’t have his license yet himself, and even then, they only had one car. Schlatt won this argument, just as he knew he would, and it was one that he was actually proud to win.

_ They were kids that I once knew. _

“I wish you weren’t so nice sometimes,” Tommy whispered from the doorway into the kitchen. Schlatt’s ear flicked as Tommy left, moving back to his room to get some more much-needed rest. Schlatt didn’t move from the couch, didn’t bother to even open his eyes.

_ Now they're all dead hearts to you. _

He pretended he hadn’t heard him, since he knew Tommy thought he didn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Dead Hearts by Stars.


End file.
